show me the way ;

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

~ 3:52 AM ~

im going to have a mini science lesson soon(: this caught my eye while i was doing random blog-surfing:

"sermon today was on revelations 4
coincidentally .. it seemed as though God was speaking to me through the speaker's message .. it's like Jesus is knocking the door of my heart but i'm not opening it for Him .. however the door of heaven is always open for me .. but i can't enter it till i open the door of my heart .."

and im reminded so much of Max Lucado's analogy in his book "Come Thirsty". Jesus said in John 7:37-38 "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scipture has said, streams of living water will flow from within Him." Jesus also said that "Everyone who drinks this water (from the well) will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give hm will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14.

POINT 1 - WATER IS ESSENTIAL
God designed our body such that we require water for us to function. apart from brains, bones and a few organs, our body is 80% fluid, and we're literally like walking water balloons. Our eyes need the fluid to cry; our mouths need moisture to swallow; our glands need sweat to keep our bodies cool; our cells need blood to carry them; our joints need fluid to lubricate them. Our bodies need water the same way a tire needs air, and God wires us with a "low-fluid indicator". Deprive yourself of water, and your body will tell you. Dry mouths. Thick tongue. Achy head. Weak knees.

Likewise, our soul requires spiritual water too, and it sends out flares when it is deprived. Dehydrated hearts send desperate messages. Snarling tempers. Waves of worrries. Growling mastodons of guilt and fear. God never intended us to contend with all these; He intended for us to be perfect, and to enjoy this precious life He breathed into us. Hopelessness. Depression. Resentment. Insecurity. Warnings and syptoms of a dryness deep within.

You think that such phases are unavoidable in life. You've seen thousands of people in the road of life, facing the same problems day in, day out, and you think to yourself that you're no different. So you let yourself live with it. Aren't such emotions inevitable? Absolutely. But unquenchable? No way. View the pains of your heart not as struggles to endure, but as an inner thirst to slake - proof that something within you is beginning to shrivel.

Treat your soul as you treat thirst, and take a gulp. Imbibe the moisture and flood your heart with a good swallow of water. The water of Life that can be found only in the living Christ.

What water can do for your body, Jesus can do for your heart too.

POINT 2 - WATER HAS NO DEFINITE SHAPE
Throw a person against a wall, his body thuds and drops. Splash water against a wall, and the liquid conforms and spreads. Its molecular makeup grants water great flexibility: one moment separating and seeping into a crack, another collecting and thundering over a waterfall. Water goes where we cannot.

So does Jesus. He goes to the inner depths of our hearts, and sees things in places we cant reach. The Spirit of Jesus threads through the throat of your soul, flushing fears, dislodging regrets. Long time hatred towards that boy who played a prank on you? Jesus washes it away. Emotional scars still wounding over the years? Jesus cleanses the wounds.

Areas we can never reach, never able to penetrate, Jesus enters, and washes us clean.

POINT 3 - WATER CANNOT ENTER A SEALED SYSTEM
Water doesnt heed instructions from you. As it enters your body, you dont tell 10 drops of water to go into the spleen or fifty drops of water to enter the cardiovascular detail. Water somehow knows where it is needed to go. We dont need to direct water flow..

Yet, we need to allow permission for water to enter. Its ironic how one can stand waist deep in a river yet still die from thirst. Until you scoop and swallow, the water does your system no good. And until you drink the water Christ offers, the same is true. Jesus doesn't just barge in and demands total dominion over your life. He understands human ethics, and waits outside the door for you. He says in Revelation 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me."

Unless we choose to swallow Jesus, unless we choose to open the door of our hearts to allow Jesus to work within us, the Living Water does no good to you.

POINT 4 - WATER IS NOT EXCLUSIVE FOR A SELECT FEW
Who doesn't need a drink from time to time? If there was a drouhgt, and the government were to have a cache of water reserved for the Cabinet only, the rest of the populace would die. Yet Jesus gives his streams of living water to anyone who requests and accepts his gift.

Note the audience of His invitation. "If anyone thirsts, let Him come to me and drink." Jesus didnt restrict his largesse for just the pure at heart. He didnt limit it to the righteous or the upright. He offers it to anyone, be it who might come along. All ages welcome. Both genders invited. No race excluded. Scoundrels, rascals, hooligans, convicts..all are hospitably accomodated. One just has to follow the instructions on what, where and who to drink. In order for Jesus to do what water does, you must let him penetrate your heart. Deep, deep inside.

Let Christ be the water of your soul.

POINT 5 - NOT ALL WATER IS POTABLE
Ever drank anything black, thick and slimey? Unless you've gone for Fear Factor challenges, I dont see why anyone would risk drinking blended roaches when there is crystal clear potable water in any tap. We are selective of what we drink, and we know how to distinguish what is drinkable and what is not. We choose to drink good water. Not water with impurities like sand and dirt.

We should learn to do the same for our heart. Not everything you put to your lips will quench your thirst. Sin, for a season, quenches thirst. But so does salt water. Given time, the thirst will return, more demanding than ever. "Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more" (Ephesians 4:19) The arms of forbidden love may only satisfy for a time, but it'll come back more imposing than ever before.

Drink from the spring that flows from Jesus instead. Religion pacifies, but never satisfies. Foster that relationship with Christ to continually seek and drink from his bottomless well of living water. While regular sips satisfies thirsty throats, ceaseless communion satisfies thirsty souls.

Receive Christ's Work on the cross,
the Energy of His Spirit,
His Lordship over your life,
His unending, unfailing Love.

Let us drink together from Jesus' vast stores of living water. We dont have to contend and live with a dehydrated heart. Drink deeply and often.

And out of you will flow the rivers of living water.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

~ 2:13 AM ~

KYU SAKAMOTO - Sukiyaki

I'll hold my head up high
Looking up to the sky
So they won't see all the tears that are in my eyes
No one will know
I'm going through
My first lonely night without you

I know the night will hide
sadness I feel inside
no one will know of the smile and my lips won't tell them
I'm losing you and going through
My first lonely night without you

As I walk alone
the lonely winds seem to say
"From this darkness on, all your nights will be this way."
So I'll go on alone
pretending you're not gone
But I can hide all the moments of love we knew
Mem'ries of you as I go through
My first lonely night without you

haha wrong song to be playing at night. but who cares, its such a beautiful song, with such alluring lyrics..

*reflections of who we all once were, cast away but the tides of time and change. could we ever retrieve that innocence?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

~ 1:06 AM ~

was just about to go sleep when suddenly an influx of thought crosses my mind. and all of a sudden, i suddenly feel very important. i just realised how much i love all 3 of my younger siblings. even though sometimes they can be as pesky, annoying, irritating, spoilt brats etc, still i love them. i dont know why though, coz love's just has a very funny and complex nature.

everyday i'll get fed up by caleb's incessant shouts, cries, pestering and running around the house, that everyday im "forced" into shouting at him. and then he'll go off and cry somewhere in a corner at home, and the whole cycle starts again 5 minutes later. i still remember the first time i rushed down to the hospital after school to see him for the very first time, that petite form where God breathed life into. i vividly recall that instance where he had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital under an intensely bright bulb, and i could almost feel the family's pain in my heart. i can recollect the times where he refuses to eat, where he demands to have his way, the tempers and tantrums he throws. but most of all, if anything, i'll remember all those hugs and kisses he gives me, be it for sweets or just to get his way..still an act of love. i feel so ashamed at times for having to threaten him or to shout at him.

the most i shout at is at beatrice, sometimes for the most stupid and minute things, always up to my mood swings. reminiscing the times where i vied to decide where she sits on the dining table - beside me, those times when i'll hold her hand to reassure her, the time where i'll tickle her non-stop. all scarred with memories of shouting and bullying..surfacing thoughts of her innocence. she used to write letters to me, do drawings and cards and all sorts of art forms on paper and give it to me. birthday cards, simple post it reminders, simple placards, she did it all with love and sincerity, but somehow i'll always just brush it away. i still keep some of her handiworks in my box of memories.

and i guess it'll be natural for me to be much closer to amanda, given the much smaller age gap. everywhere around the house, i'll see pictures of us, the younger us. my favourite picture? the one where i was only 4 and when she was 2, during chinese new year. she was sitting on the highchair and both of us smiling widely. i still rememeber that quirky smile i used to have and detest when i was younger. that picture, a reflection of all the innocence and joy in the world. 13 years passes ever so quickly, and who we once were isnt a reflection of ourselves anymore. sometimes i try too hard to limit her, afraid that she might mix with bad company, do things that will ruin her life. over-protected. i dont ever want to see her get hurt, as long as its something that i can prevent. yet i always seem to be missing out on the point that we all learn from experience. we'll always have quarrels now and then, but somehow that sense of closeness just isnt as strong as it used to be. yet, she's still my sister and i love her.

everytime the 4 of us are together, i'll feel a very strong sense of responsibility, that the 3 younger ones are under my charge. its a very very comforting thought, imagining how we'll all grow up to be like, the jobs we'll have, the families we'll create and the people we'll turn out to be. and i feel so accountable for them now. even though it really sucks to be the eldest at times, yet whenever i think about the future, it just brings about this sense of satisfaction within me.

and in the process of it, i think, or more so, i know that im learning to be a father someday as well. stuff that my dad once did to me, i'll reciprocate to my siblings. dad always use to ruffle my and just kiss me on the head. he would always buy stuff for me when i was younger, carry me home when i was tired and do all sort of stuff that i wouldnt do myself. and most of all, he'll always tell me how he'll sacrifice his life in order to protect us all. thats something i will never forget, and all these small acts that i loved so much when i was young, i want my siblings to experience that too.

its a great feeling to cover blankets for them when they're asleep, push pillows under their heads and shove the bolsters back into their arms when they kick it away. i enjoy ruffling caleb's hair and kissing his head too. and even though it hurts my finances, i love buying small little stuff for my siblings, and always see how they struggle to get the flavours that they want. i love holding their hands when we go out, especially caleb's when walking down the stairs. i want to see them all grow up, from the whiny young brats to mature, sensible and independent adults. and maybe one day, we'll be laughing about our childhood over a drink.

and though i sometimes complain about being the eldest coz of the responsibility and burden, i really do thank God for making me the eldest child in the family, coz i derive so much satisfaction just by seeing how great and important a responsibility God has bestowed upon me. and i must admit im really honoured, though it rarely shows, to have such wonderful and adorable siblings.

even if i may shout or berate them so very often, deep down in their hearts, i do hope they know that i too would give my life for them and the extent of love i have for them. i know they know, and thats why i love them(: