its getting hard to distinguish reality from dreams.

well, at least not when you dream of a thousand and one things at night and do almost nothing during daytime. and of course late night "movies" like CSI V and Las Vegas till 3.15am doesnt help at all. that type of feeling when you wake up and dont even know what has really happened last night. that type of deja vu feeling, like it has happened before; that vaguely familiar experience, flashes of the future.

dreaming of walking to school.
dreaming of being in spain.
dreaming of sitting on the beach shore.
dreaming of serenading on a boat to nowhere.
dreaming of reaching out to people.
dreaming of playing with my grandchildren.

a profusion of phantasmal illusions..all of which carries no meaning at all. clouded by hallucinations, fabricated dreams and evidence. clear my vision O Lord, help me focus on whats good, perfect and pleasing - Your will for me. now i understand why that hymn has been popping into my mind so very often..

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light.

dreaming of golden streets and stairways..
where at the end of it all..
i find You, my Lord and Saviour.

HILLSONG UNITED - From the Inside Out


A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

*hihglighting makes a world of difference(=

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking,
she wants you to hold her hand.

When a girl wants a hug,
she will just stand there.

When you break a girls heart,
she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later.

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine", after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you",
no one in this world can miss you more than that.

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup,
she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever.


When a guy wraps his arms around you,
he's actually measuring how wide your shoulders are.
or he wants you to feel secure with him.
When a guy wants a hug,
(do guys even aks for hugs?!)
or he longs to hide in your embrace.
When you break a guy's heart,
he couldnt care less and brushes it off easily.
or he still dreams about you, but sacrifices his own happiness for yours.
When a guy is quiet,
he's envisaging of the many possibilities of the future together.
or he's thinking about a thousand and one things, especially about you.
When a guy is not arguing,
he's either watching soccer or playing video games.
or he's thinking of those past arguments and wishing he could take it all back.
When a guy looks at you with eyes full of questions,
he's demanding to know who you've been with last night.
or he knows there's never a need to question your faithfulness.
When a guy answers, "I'm fine", after a few seconds,
he's really alright because he knows you need his assurance.
or he's deceiving you because he doesnt want to see you get sad.
When a guy stares at you,
(this im not answering either..)
or he's marveling at your beauty and hoping for an eternity to be spent together.
When a guy leans his head on your shoulder,
he's deifinitely a psychopath!
or he knows that there's always a listening ear for him to cry to.
When a guy says that he can't live without you,
he's most PROBABLY lying to you.
or he really means it.
When a guy says, "I miss you",
no one in this world can miss you more than that.
or he cant wait to see you again even though it's only been 2 minutes.
When a guy is mean to you after a breakup
he's wishing you good ridance and never wants to see you for the rest of his life.
or he's wishing that things never happened the way they did and he could turn back time..
dedicated to grace, as promised(=

"Sin is no longer the greastest enemy of mankind; sadness is. To feel good about oneself is the number one priority. The Bible is reduced to a devotional guide to help people get in touch with their feelings. Thus Christianity is widely ignored in our culture despite their excellent evidence for its superiority among other alternatives. Our culture is not interested in serious arguments and rational evidence for matters of religion"
Christ Among Other gods - Erwin W Lutzer

maybe if we all try to lighten up and smile, we'll be left with nothing else except the world turning to Christ for His joy to shine through them..but the world still retains its state. everyone all caught up in the hustle of life, a reality no one dares escape. entwined in a nomenclature of contrite and sorrow. what will happen when a generation accepts the idea that we should just feel, not think? people opt for opinions that fall short of conviction.

yet in this sin-ridden world, while we were still sinners Christ died for us..and i will be eternally grateful for this sacrifice. this valentine's day, maybe its gonna be something special. not with friends, not with family, but with my Lord and Saviour, cherishing every moment of breath that i draw, for who knows love like You do; the embodiment of love itself is You.

the loftiest idea in literature, the highest personality in philosophy, the supreme problem in high criticism, the fundamental doctrine of proved theology, the carnal necessity of spiritual religion..maybe valentines day would hold a new meaning after all. even for you, where ever you may be.

Thank You Father Lord, for this day that even though its not Christmas, still You've given this opportunity not just to renew marriage vows, love declarations and the like, but for us as Christians to remember who you are to us again. Thank You for Your steadfast love towards us, Your mercies that extend to the heavens, and Your faithfulness to Your promises to us. Lord i love You, today and forever, and i know one day i'll recieve my crown from You, where i'll walk the streets of gold, singing praises of Your Holy Name. And God, for her, whoever she might be, i pray that You keep her safe under Your wings till You bring us together in a union sanctified by Your love. Keep her and guard her till that day comes, when You join two as one. Thank You Father for Your undying love towards us, and for the people whom You have surrounded me with. Amen.

not really in the mood to blog. really lethargic and brain dead (in a sense). oh wells since people been asking what i have been doing during my mission trip, maybe i shall just copy and paste what i shared in church today.

"Good morning church

I promise to try to make this sharing as short as possible, but hopefully with God’s grace it will leave a strong impression on you. Since I been back in Singapore, I always get people asking me how my trip went, but I only could tell them things like “good” or “fantastic”, but today I hope to share with you what exactly I did there.

Even before I applied for this mission trip through OM, I had all along wanted to go back to Thailand, mainly because of my previous trips there. But long story short, I didn’t manage to find and apply for any mission trips to Thailand. God only left this door open for me to Philippines. I didn’t really want to go there, but that was the only option given to me. I went alone so as to fully depend on God rather than on human strength. In a foreign country where everyone are strangers and in time of spiritual warfare, it only means that I have nowhere to turn except to God. In a way, it was to help me build up my faith in Him.

It was really good that God brought me to another country to serve because it was a total different experience. It was like an attachment, so I really got to reach out to people, whereas my other 2 trips were more of an exposure. I worked with street kids, children living in the slums, islands and mountains. Sometimes it was carrying out Sunday school lessons; sometimes it was to evangelize to the kids. I had the chance to organize Christmas parties in December, attend conferences and lead university fellowships. I even spoke with Brother Yun, the author of the Heavenly Man. I also met many people from different nationalities, Australian, South African, Japanese, Swiss, German, Korean and of course Filipinos.

Yet it was also a struggle to go too because it was 2 days after my O Levels. Everyone would be enjoying themselves, having parties and gatherings, and most of all, my first ever prom night! It wasn’t easy to surrender all these temptations to God, but with His grace, I managed to put all these behind me and just go. I still vividly recall that while my schoolmates were dancing during prom night, I was in a prayer meeting.

Initially I was only supposed to be in Cebu for 2 weeks, but after a week there, I felt God’s prompting for me to extend my stay there. I had further affirmation by 2 pastors and the director of the OM staff there. Partly also because I had grown rather attached to the kids there, that I felt there was more I could do in Cebu rather than waste my holidays in Singapore, so I decided to go ahead with the extension, and I am indeed grateful to God for giving me that opportunity. In that extra 2 weeks, I experienced much more than I expected. God carried me through so many things while I was there, namely weathering a so-called “typhoon” and the chance to compare the experience between going alone and with a group. In Cebu I frequently heard reports of the impeding typhoon and terrorists attacks, and it’s my first time to actually be caught up in all this. It’s a different experience reading it on the papers and living it out – the fear of dying anytime along the streets due to a bomb blast, or being swept away by a typhoon. All these were so real and it really made me re-look into my life, and REALLY thinking if I could be held accountable of my life to Christ. A group of 22 Christians from Foochow Methodist Church came during my third week, and I could really compare being alone and within a group, the different focuses and expectations. And I have to say going alone is still the best, because its then that you can really focus on God instead of fellowshipping, albeit lacking the interaction and socialization.

All this time alone, I have been constantly encouraged by my life verse, Acts 20:22-24, which speaks of completing this path God has laid in front of me. “And now, compelled by the Holy Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city, the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me, the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

One thing that has kept this desire to tell these people about Christ is when I see the joy within them. It is a horrible reality to know that these people do not even know where they will be going to after death without Christ. When I see the happiness, contentment and joy within them, it really pains my heart. These children, they radiate so much joy, the type of happiness, which is so rare in Singapore. I kept thinking where the source of their joy came from, despite having so little material possessions, yet they are always smiling. What more for them to know the joy that can be found in Christ alone?

I really don’t know if you feel that burden for them, the peoples of this world, the people who haven’t even heard of Jesus. Are you really willing to let all these people go down to hell, while we just sit back and watch the whole show? Are we going to let the devil win this battle by releasing the many souls that God commissioned us to rescue? Everyone on this earth drawing breath, are they not the very people that God created, the very people that He wants to enjoy eternity with, so much so that He sent his only Son to the cross for our salvation? We are so privileged to have Christ within us, but what about the world? If Christians do not even share the Gospel, then who will? Who will share Christ with the world if not the Church?

This is my challenge to you. Maybe you have never gone on a mission trip before, but in other ways you still can contribute to these people around the world. World Vision offers child sponsorship. How about sponsoring people from our church who wished to be exposed to missions? What about evangelizing to your friends in Singapore? If you have time even, why not consider the upcoming Qiang trip in March. It’s really my desire one day to see different people in the church in different areas of the world, rising up to God’s commission.

If you didn’t really catch what I said before, I would at least like you to take something home today, which will be what I am going to end off with. God had an only Son and He made Him a missionary, what more for us? What more for us, as parents to emulate God and send your children, and children to emulate Christ and go forth? Thank You(:"

*caught up in a fluster of confusion and frustration..

17 SIGNS OF REALLY LIKING SOMEONE!!!!!


SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY



SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO



FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or MMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN



FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOWLY WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM



THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER HE/SHE IS AROUND



ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME TIME



TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE



NINE:
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU; All YOU SEE IS HIM//HER



EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF THEM



SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT



SIX:
YOU LOVE THERE HUGES & KISSES MORE THAN ANYTHING



FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM



FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING JUST TO SEE THEM



THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...



TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDNT NOTICE NUMBER TWELVE



ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK AND NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF



NOW MAKE A WISH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT
TO.......


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POST THIS AS: "17 SIGNS OF REALLY LIKING SOMEONE"
*AND SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT

*silently laughing at this email..