show me the way ;

Monday, October 30, 2006

~ 9:16 PM ~

just recieved an email from my mom: typhoon strikes philippines.

haha i know the heading doesnt exactly sound appealing, but i just hope it will not affect my trip to cebu. its really an interesting mix of feelings im experiencing right now, with an element of uncertainty, not knowing what will happen to me there.

but i think now what i can do is pray for the people there. honestly its not so much of my safety there, but i think for opportunities to reach out and let them discover the only solace that they can find is in Jesus Christ. all the more urgency for missionaries around the world and this just proves one point.

we all like to dally in whatever we are doing, always with a mindset that there's more time to finish it later. but we never know what will happen the next day. the fragility of life. i just pray that given the current situation, the Holy Spirit will descend upon the people there and touch their hearts, giving them peace and jope for a new beginning. and may the God use those already based in philippines more mightlily than before, sharing with people the refuge in Christ.

and while i know, the first time of going there after a natural disaster, i think it will be a new experience that God will use to teach me and mould me. added with uncertainty of anything that can happen there, i can honestly stand up and stand in the face of adversity. because i have Christ, i have no need to fear anything. like the song "with all i am", into Your hands i commit again, with all i am for you Lord.

as i ponder about why am i going to philippines for my mission trip, i come to remember that i dont. in fact i had wanted to go to thailand, but now i understand why i was put there. God had closed all other doors and left only one open. and while i admit there was a bit of reluctance in going there before, i dont feel it at all now, not one bit. God has left that door open for me for a purpose, and i intend to go there and fulfil it. im not going to let the devil's reign over the earth to hinder me or stop me. because i go with Christ alongside me.

and i still stand by my life verse, which speaks of such things; evangelism in spite of danger.

"And now, compelled by the Holy Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that hardships and prison are facing me. But i consider my life worth nothing to me, if only i may finish the race and complete the task Lord Jesus had given to me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace"
Acts 20:22-24

~ 2:20 PM ~

was just looking throught that post i put up last time about the youth leaders. you're not gonna find it here but ya, i keep it to serve as a reminder of what i wanted in YZ..

committe retreat was really interesting, and i dont regret going to it despite O Levels and all. not one sigle bit. many new revelations, as well as relationships patched and friendships strengthend.

so a whole new structure is going to be implemented next year, and im really excited about how God will use us to change the culture in YZ. im sure the four of you are too..*ponders about what to write* [hmmm i really should have blogged yesterday because i had a lot of things to say, but now its kinda lost..haha]

anywayz i think looking back at whatever has happened during the retreat, the things i talked about..i just hope it doesnt end there but it sustains throughout our 3 years of service. im just kept wondering what's happening in my life now, if i have a limited capacity for the number of people there can be in my life..

friendships once so strong..
passion once was great..
and love once so abundant..

not that i have lost any of those, but im just thinking especially in midst of our major examinations, where are our priorities set at? haha maybe its just me cause i see things differently, and i dont think anyone will really (i mean really) understand what its like, not knowing what to do when you have your earthly responsibilities on one hand and God-given responsibilities on the other. what happens when both clashes?

which is gonna come put tops? im left thinking what many of us will answer. say now is a perfectly good time to review your commitment. actually there's a reason i wanna share for my mindset, but i dont think anyone will understand, so i will just leave it as it is..for now that is.

for the people whom havbe slowly faded away, i wanna relight that flame and bond. while im steadily enjoying myself in YZ, im losing the things i had in the past. how ironic. its really like i got a limited capacity lor. if there's input on one side, there's output on the other.

eddie asked me once why do i bother so going so far every weekend when there's a church in my local community. simple: my ministry is there and there's where God wants me to be. im not going to leave just because im unhappy there. i used to stand by one truth: i go to church not to seek personal fulfilment and attainment but i go there to glorify and praise God. so yeah lor, i guess non-christians wont understand, but when you are touched by God, thats all that matters.

and after all christians are humans too. they make mistakes and stuff like that. christians aren't all holy, pure, blameless or sinless..at least i know im not yet. im still an unrefined product and i make mistakes, lots of them in fact. but well, im learning, and commiting them at the same time, but i know at the end of the day, i know where i will be.

looking through some messages and rethinking through the people in my life, im really left hanging. i really wanna do something to reinstate the friendship lor. someone once wrote this for me..

"anyway daryl
i want u to know
i will always be here for u lah
we can run this race together
we can do it!
and i will do watever it takes to pull u up
when u are down
pull u up, and continue running
i wont let go of that grip, daryl
this is my promise to u"

"we can wait
even if we have to
at least i know i can
if God willing, that is"

oh well, whatever it is, im leaving it into Your hands. lance, en, dora and rachel, yeah im really looking forward to next year:)

Friday, October 06, 2006

~ 8:05 PM ~

i know i havent been blogging for some time already, but well im just back to share and testofy to God's blessings and grace.

my application for my mission trip has been approved today:) im so happy that i will be able to go out and share God's gift with those who havent heard it yet, and that Christ my work powerfully in me to spread the Gospel!!

Mission Trip: Cebu, Philippines Mission Attcahment
Date: 19 November 2006 - 2 December 2006

its immediately after my O' Levels..and while im gonna miss prom night, i dont really care cause i no i will be doing something more worthwhile in a foreign land. but im still gonna miss that last chance when i will probably see everyone together..*sobs* nonetheless, if God calls, GO!!!

im excited about this trip, yet scared. im gonna be alone on this trip..LITERALLY ALONE. in a foreign land. with absolutely no one i know!! i dont know what its gonna be like, but all i know is that i will probably change the way i see things, what God is doing in Philippines and in the world. and i know im gonna be blessed.

out of the approximate thousand for the trip, half of it has already come in. and its not from my parents. its from my aunt. despite being a newly converted Christian, its really very encouraging that she has so willingly pledged $500 for my trip!! im really touched by her act of generosity and faith. there's so much more i can do for her family, for example my cousin who;'s interested in Christianity, but sometimes i just feel that i take these things too lightly. i just hope that after the mission trip, or even before, God will grant me the courage to even talk to my cousin, as well as wisdom to answer all her questions. and not forgetting my parents blessing and support for my trip. how much my mom has done to help me settle the itty-bitty details. i owe them a big thanks!

no doubt, the devil will always be prowling around to attack me. but i just ask for prayers of deliverance against spiritual attacks. dont ask them to stop, cause they are what builds us up in Christ. we need to be tested and tried in order to understand the sacrifice Chirst has gone through for it. and im gonna face it; i wouldnt have it any other way.

*i really wanna be back on the 2 December. probably gonna be resting at home, or even in youth camp. but i'd really rather be somewhere else. i just hope i wont be too late in doing anything.

and to anyone out there, it doesnt matter if you're a Christian or not, i just wanna say..

JESUS LOVES YOU!!