show me the way ;

Saturday, June 17, 2006

~ 4:13 AM ~

[dedicated to Youth Zone leaders]

- i dont mean to be critical or anything, but these are just my opinions based on what i see. i know i havent been in youth service for near to 2 months, so i may be wrong in certain aspects. before you start judging me based on what i write, please read through the entire post and give my words some consideration. please forgiving me for making so many comparisons, i just want this type of culture to be adapted into YZ. i know we all as leaders want to see YZ grow as much as each other, but somehow i feel prompted to tell you guys how i feel. i dont want to be that anti-socialist i have been for so long. in what i say, i dont intend to pinpoint anybody. my sole intention is to see YZ grow as a whole, as a close knitted community. -

i know im anti-social to a certain extent, that i admit. i was lost during sec 1 and 2, aimlessly wandering in church without anywhere to go. i didnt want to go to YZ because i felt that i couldnt fit in. i didnt have a proper DG, constantly changing DGL's, before caiyue settled in and gave me bible study. she stabilized me and God prompted me to start opening me up. im really trying to put in effort in becoming more open, rather than inert since last year, and i hope you guys understand that.

one of my biggest problems why i couldnt fit in was because of the cliques in YZ. me and christopher being the only guys in our level, didnt have anyone else to follow and befriend, which explains our situations. cliques were so common that we couldnt find a proper place to fit in. we discuss this problem at every committee meeting, but in my opinion, nothing has yet been resolved. i still see the issue of cliques surfacing in YZ, especially within the committee. how many of us actually interact with other people aside from your clique and DG members? the sec 1's? i am in a way guilty too, but i try to make an effort. being too cliquish, as a result, we share little friendship with the other people in YZ. there is little interaction in between each other, we hardly know whats going on in their lives and how to help them tackle their problem. i feel little love among the YZers, some coming just because they have to come. i mean there is so little fellowship among us. it starts with service, and ends there. what continues afterwards? it merely becomes a routine for them to come to church.

i feel the same way too. in between the 6 weeks i didnt come to church, i would have least expected a call or sms asking about my spiritual well-being. nothing ever came and im really very upset. i recieved an sms from two people..imagine how happy i was, but the disappointment i felt when i realised that they were just comm mtg reminders. i feel as if my presence and existance in church doesnt even matter. how would it have been if it had been someone in your clique? what would be ur immediate reaction if he/she didnt turn up for 2 weeks? the thing i feel is that we dont have a close-knit communtiy in YZ at all. even after YZ when we go for lunch, its always the same gang together, and the rest of the YZers will just make their way home. do we even invite them to join us for lunch? i know announcements are made, but have we tried asking them personally? if we want YZ to grow, we must definitely abolish this mindset of the YZers that youth service is just a weekly routine.

i dont want the new sec 1's to follow the same road i did, being lost in the transaction and all. we're all youths, and being youths in a sense mean fun. instead of a short game followed by message during YZ, can we just have scheduled days just to go out, play some ball, just chill and have fellowship. that in itself is a service too rite? let me just explain the structure in WEFC. after service, the youths break for lunch from 11 to 1. during that 2 hour frame, we have lots of fellowship, catch up what on each other's lives and just have fun. afterwhich we go for service, while waiting another hour before they set the equipment up. we have worship and announcements, followed by games such as floorball, captain's ball and volleyball. the entire thing lasts till around 7, where we depart for dinner together. and thats the programme EVERY sunday. and its not only a few people..its like 80% of their youths. i really want you guys to experience the culture in WEFC, see how if we can incorperate some elements into our programmes. although there is a lot of waiting, i dont mind, because i get to know more people, catch up on their lives.

and that's something that keeps drawing me back. the people and the close-knit community. they keep informing me of when they are playing floorball during the weekdays, and i get constant encouraging sms' from them. i have a free communication with them, something which i wanna have with you guys. when im feeling down, somehow they can sense it and they push me up. thats something i wanna be part of. in YZ it's a different scenario. i really dont feel at home there even though i've been there for years. the only people i find i can talk to is jian horng and lance. no one else. and its a sad reality i face up to every week. i try to do my part, sit with you guys during service, join in for lunch and stuff, but somehow i never feel welcome. and thats the reason why i never wanna bring my friends to YZ coz im scared it will just turn them off. honestly the only happy moments i can recall was last year's camp and the mission trip, nothing else. recently i brought a friend to WEFC, and the thing is he wanted to come back without me having to prompt him. that is the type of environment i want to nurture in YZ.

for people to feel welcome, friends and people that we can communicate to, trust for support. i know it takes time, but can we please see what we can do in that aspect. make people feel welcome and all, share the love of Christ to all around.

[Lance] - im confused on my directions. but if my friend wants to attend church, i will be attending WEFC. somehow i feel as if the passion i had in serving last year has disappeared. i feel so on fire when im in WEFC (they evangelicals like us, not charismatics), but different when im in YZ. a really good fren of mine reminded me to leave it to God, let Him do as He wishes and in time watch His Plans unravel. maybe i really have been trying too hard already. im still praying for directions, i really dont know where the Lord will lead me to. i seriously need prayers, coz i feel so messed up now. i dont know if i should stay or move on. but dont blame me if i ever leave YZ because i will just follow His calling. dont tell me to stay there just because you want it, i want to know where He wants me to be. please please pray for me.

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about me

daryl chew
seventeen and counting
07021990
bpghs volleyball alumni
child of God
missionary in making
acts 20:22-24
youthz.aflame@gmail.com [msn]
youthz_aflame@yahoo.com [email]

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